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Sunday, July 24, 2011

3 Tips For Controlling Your Emotions So You Can Control Your Weight

If you don't learn to control your emotions you'll NEVER learn to control your weight.

No messing around today, ladies.

I know what you're thinking. "Whamo! No foreplay! She's straight into it!"

With your permission, and a bit cheeky after that rough entry, I'd like to jump straight into it because it is absolutely VITAL that you get this.

May I?

Thank you: )

Have you ever found yourself beating a path to the fridge because of a feeling? Sadness, anger, scared-ness? Boredom, frustration, annoyance? A show of hands we can see we're amongst friends.

Yup...all of us.

During your weight loss journey emotions will come up. Shed loads of them (that's a technical term of measurement in Kiwiland).

Expect them.

On this journey you'll be out of your comfort zone and that'll trigger all sorts of fears and other garden-variety negative emotions that'll feel UNCOMFORTABLE.

They'll feel scary.

If you don't learn how to deal with these emotions you'll continue to beat a path to the fridge. You'll continue to ignore that Do Not Disturb sign hanging on the door, and you will continue to overeat (and under-exercise).

Today I'm going to share with you three steps that will help you to deal with these emotions, so you can quit being the victim of them.

All strapped in? Let's go...

Emotions And Us

Each and every one of us has a pattern of emotions. Although we have access to over 3,000 emotional states, most of us, out of habit, limit ourselves to just a few of them.

Play time....

Imagine your emotional spectrum as a piano. Wouldn't you rather listen to a sonata in which the pianist uses the entire keyboard instead of limiting themselves to one or two octaves?

Or even or two notes?

Compare and contrast (the overplayed and uninspired) Chopsticks to the joy-invoking Hallelujah Chorus from Handel's Messiah.

Chalk and cheese, aren't they?

(If you're not into classical's can still see what I'm saying because you're a clever chica).

And yet that's exactly what most of us do.

We develop a pattern, the emotional equivalent of Chopsticks, which becomes our habit, and we wonder why we feel.....well...... uninspired, emotionally-speaking.

Here's the thing...

Emotions Are A Choice

Most people believe that our emotions 'just turn up'. The key distinction is to appreciate that emotions are not something that just happen by chance... instead emotions are things that we choose and they become habitual.

We DO fear.

We DO anger.

We DO stress.

We DO love.

When you hear someone say that you can choose an emotion, your first thought might be that it's impossible.

Emotions just are, aren't they? Emotions happen!

"Maaaaaaaaan, I woke up in a grouchy mood and I couldn't shake it ALL day."

It takes a high degree of awareness, attention and persistence, but you can choose differently.

How you make a different choice is something that comes with practice. But it IS possible.

I encourage you to be open to that.

Have you ever been sitting at home crying because of a sad movie on the telly? The tears streaming down your face when the chap you fancy calls on the phone. How quickly do you go from boo hoo-ing to bright n perky? Pretty darn quick I'm guessing!

That, dear reader, is what's called an emotional state change.

Read on and you'll discover how you can do this for yourself... phone call from boyfriend is optional: )

Here's Why It's Important To Learn To Control Your Emotional State

Your Story (what you tell yourself) has on determining whether you are your happy weight (or not).

State and Story are like happy lovers. They go hand in hand.

For example, when you're in a terrific emotional state, your story will be a positive one too. And vice versa.

If you're in a negative emotional state - stressed, frustrated, annoyed - you'll create a negative "I suck at weight loss, I can't do this," story.

Hand in hand, state and story, strolling together.

I'm NOT saying you'll never feel a negative emotion again. It's important to play the entire keyboard of emotions.

What I AM saying is you must become skilled at spotting an emotional state that doesn't serve you, and be able to move - with volition - to a resourceful emotional state, which does serve you.

All progress on your weight loss journey comes from breaking patterns which keep you stuck.

Here's how to change your emotional state immediately, in three simple (not to be confused with easy) steps.

Step 1: Change your focus

What you focus on impacts how you feel. It's shed loads (there's that term again) easier to feel motivated and inspired into action when you focus on the good stuff in your life. Be appreciative.

Many people focus on what they don't have (yet), and wonder why they feel uninspired. We've ALL got something for which to be grateful.

Step 2: Change your physiology

What you do with your body impacts how you feel. Slip a smile on that gorgeous face of yours. Breathe deeply into your tummy. Put your shoulders back. Eyes forward. Dance. Sing. Skip. Laugh.

Doing any, or even better, all of these things when you're in an unresourceful state changes your biochemistry.

Laughter really is the best medicine. When you're chuckling it's impossible to be angry, sad or depressed.

Step 3: Change the meaning

This is absolute gold. Listen up, ladies.

Someone wise (I forget exactly who) realised, "It's not what happens to us that matters, it's our opinion of what happens, that matters."


For example, when you hit a plateau there's a massive difference between deciding the plateau means, "Geez I really suck, I can't do this, I'll never be my happy weight" and "Hmmm, OK, so a plateau, less than ideal, I wonder what action I need to take this week to get a different result?"

See ladies, it's exactly same situation - a weight loss plateau. But the 'meaning' you put on the event impacts whether you feel inspired or uninspired.

So there you have it. Three steps to controlling your emotional state so you can go from fed-up, frustrated and heading for the fridge to chilled, calm and composed. Or whatever state works for you.

You choose.

It does take practice. Like anything worth having in life, mother nature WILL test you to see just how much you want this.

It's all good.

Be persistent.

Now go forth and practice your emotional mastery scales each and every day and become the conductor of your own sonata.

By answering the questions below you'll develop the emotional muscle to assist you in your weight loss journey.

- What empowering emotions do you most often feel?

- How do you hold your body when you do these emotions?

- What do you focus on when you do these emotions?

- What disempowering emotions do you feel most often?

- How do you hold your body when you do these emotions?

- What do you choose to focus on when you do these emotions?


I'd be absolutely thrilled. Please be so kind as to include this little love note with it:
Avril Carpenter helps women ignite their thinner sparkle. An expert in the psychology of weight loss she helps clients pinpoint what's going on between their ears that prevents them being their happy weight. Clients discover that when their mindset is sorted, the number on the scale takes care of itself. Forever. If you're ready to lose weight, look absolutely fabulous (daaarling) and ignite your thinner sparkle you can sign up for a F.R.E.E. subscription at

LIKE TO SEE MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS ONE? Then c'mon over to Avril's blog at Your thinner-sparkly-self will thank you for it.

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